I finally closed that door.
me there It took three years but finally came home Zenigata. I swear that I tried many times to really close the door, but it was so heavy ... other times I pretended to try, to make you believe that I had not surrendered. Two days ago I closed and it was a relief. Last night I dreamed of the past, but not mine. Gave me a headache and feel like crying because I realized that pretty much what I was missing with the door still open and my whims. And this great thing I'm afraid to lose it now that I have it ... and the fact that a dream so much influence on my daily life is a bad sign. " But I go further, because I closed the door with a nice bolt, leaving behind a box with all memories, pictures, songs, stations near the sea, the stupid, the movie with the lights off, chips and cosmic pessimism. From that point of view, I finally feel good.
you close to me at that moment was crucial. Until a few hours before I would have preferred it had not, because I did not know how I would react a certain way and retracing did not want to ruin everything. But in the end you were there and I was reassured to see you from afar. Even for a moment when I looked toward the window, imagining that no longer see a face so familiar behind the white curtain, you were and you did not say anything. You're changing so many things and I did not expect. The changes have always scared me. There is a phobia like this? If there is no up myself, because I have it. I'm afraid of spiders, clowns, the dark and changes. But now I'm quiet. I think, of course ... because I can not help but think about it, you know it I broke his head in thought and even when I sleep I do not ever relax. And even now explode ... but look how things change, do not explode because of you. And 'I do not understand what is happening and where they are. I am a crumpled doll placed in the trunk in the attic. Why can not I move ever, because they are messed up, because it happens that I have to struggle with the inevitable questions of responsibility. But in a letter replying worried and I see no answer. I am a bit 'wrong, I would go the emergency room.
